A Den of Mothers

Blessings, wisdom, and comfort can come from anywhere. I’m learning that more and more on this journey. Here’s an experience I had early last year that really hit that point home. Originally blogged at the amazing Elixher.com, I’m re-posting it here, cuz the experience still give me goosebumps…

I lost my mother in early 2011. Since that time, I’ve had a number of changes in my life, including embracing my attraction to women. Although it’s not an issue I would have been comfortable discussing with my mom, it is something that I needed guidance on.

I’m a big believer in the wisdom of age. When I want to know something, I look to someone older. It doesn’t always work, because, let’s face it, some people are fools no matter how old they get; but for the most part, I’ve gotten some wonderful advice from my elders over the years.

Most of that advice pertained to issues of parenting, children, pregnancy and marriage…the “normal” female stuff. There was no way in hell I was going to my aunties for advice on the best way to transition from life as a married straight woman to life as a single gay woman. I needed another source of wisdom. So I looked to my local LGBT center. For those of you who don’t know, SAGE is an organization dedicated to serving the older LGBT population. Since the lesbian SAGE group was the only one having meetings in my area, I figured it was a good place to start.

I’d like to tell you that I went into that meeting with an open mind. The truth is, I was terrified. I was just embracing my sexuality. I wasn’t even sure if what I was feeling was legitimate. When you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, it doesn’t help when you walk into a room filled with 75 white lesbians who are all old enough to be your mother. It also didn’t help that they all seemed to know each other and were already grouped into their own chatty little cliques. Add to that the fact that I could feel every eyeball in the room boring a hole into me and you’ve got the perfect recipe for an incredibly awkward evening.

Read the rest here


About Felix Jay

I am Felix Jay, and I am gay as hell. Unfortunately, embracing this reality came after a 23-year relationship with a man, which included 12 years of marriage, and two children. This blog follows my journey to live my truth for the first time in my life, without devastating my family and losing my sanity in the process. Fully honest...completely authentic...and finally Felix.
This entry was posted in accepting sexuality, coming out, confidence, healing, honesty, lesbian love, questioning sexuality, resources, transition and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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