Life has not been sweet to me lately.
I’m getting poked, pinched and prodded from all directions, and sometimes it’s easier to curl up in a little ball to escape the onslaught instead facing the problem. So while I’ve been busy getting my curl on, I’ve neglected a few things, this blog being one of them.
It’s all fear. I know it’s fear…trust me, it’s an old companion of mine, I’d recognize it anywhere. I’m fully open to feeling fear, even welcoming it, because it lets me know I’m alive. But I’m not open to letting it turn me away from the path that I know I must take.
When I look toward my future I feel lightness, and calm, and pure joy in my chest. That lets me know that I’m going in the right direction. Things will work out in some way for everyone…even the person who hates me most right now because I’m shattering his image of who he thought I was and what he thought we were.
The urge to move forward is steadfast and unwavering; despite the fact that when I think about what I need to do in order to get to that place of lightness and joy the unmistakable symptoms of pure fear (gut-wrenching heaviness and darkness) never hesitate to slither in and snatch my breath away.
I need to keep moving.
There is absolutely no other option. I can trust in what I know to be true and live the life I want or give into the fear and die in one I don’t.