There is really no one that I can talk to about this shit.
I love my friends and although I seek their opinions on some things, I don’t look to them for advice when it comes to my personal life. I’ve never done that with anyone; and that is by choice. I tend to get agitated when too many different opinions are thrown at me, and as a result I shut down. I am truly a loner at heart. And thankfully, I’m getting to the point where I really don’t give a fuck about what anyone else thinks anyway.
I’m starting to picture my life alone in my mom’s house, making improvements, expanding some of the rooms, clearing away a bit of her land and creating a garden sanctuary just for me.
I will have my closest friends, my children (and prayerfully grandchildren at some point), my beloved extended family, and if I’m lucky, many, many well-chosen, down-to-earth, very compatible, but not too clingy lovers (because that, I’ve learned, is also who I am).
But ultimately, I will be on my own…and I’m good with that. I’m excited about it! My mom had the right idea.