Life unlisted

Apparently, millionaires do not use to-do lists. According to this article in Forbes, “Ultra-productive people don’t work from a to-do list, but they do live and work from their calendar.”

So it’s all about the schedule.

It makes sense. While the to-do list causes stress,  is limited in conveying urgency, and doesn’t account for the length of tasks, the schedule gives each task its own allotted time period. This way, it doesnt matter whether you have a high-level meeting or need to make a quick trip to the post office; if it’s on the calendar, it’s getting done.

My to-do list has items on it from four months ago and is getting longer every day. It’s nice to think that I’m organized enough to actually keep a written list of tasks…but I’m not disciplined enough to manage my list efficiently. The unimportant stuff (or stuff that I just don’t want to deal with) tends to fall to the wayside, and frankly…some of that shit may never get done.

It’s my own fault. I have some items on my list that don’t belong there. Who puts “get divorce” on a to-do list like it’s picking up a carton of milk? Honestly, it’s just one of many bad habits I’ve employed that make this process harder than it should be. The other ways I complicate things are:
  • Avoiding my husband at all costs. Whenever he enters a room, I exit.
  • Strictly limiting our topics of conversation to kids and household stuff (like bills and whether or not we should order pizza) and avoiding divorce talk at ALL costs.
  • Constantly worrying about how the conversation with him will go, and most likely making it much worse in my head than it would actually ever be in real life.
  • Finding temporary solace in the daydreams of how my life will be at the end of this road, while avoiding the real work of making it reality. (Essentially living in a fantasy world, when the means to make that fantasy real are right at my fingertips…IF my fingers were not frozen in fear.)
So today, I’m putting my divorce on a schedule. Maybe it’s crazy. That’s OK. I’ve done crazy. I’m good with it.

With the goal of having everything finalized by the end of the year, a six-month schedule will allow me to map out what needs to be done in a realistic time frame. Talking to him about our options for a mediator or lawyers? On the schedule. Telling kids about the upcoming change? Scheduled. Apartment hunting? Check the calendar.  Start packing? Yup, got a date.

If its good enough for Bill Gates, it’s good enough for me.

About Felix Jay

I am Felix Jay, and I am gay as hell. Unfortunately, embracing this reality came after a 23-year relationship with a man, which included 12 years of marriage, and two children. This blog follows my journey to live my truth for the first time in my life, without devastating my family and losing my sanity in the process. Fully honest...completely authentic...and finally Felix.
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One Response to Life unlisted

  1. Benir Pierre says:

    As always, you inspire and challenge me! I am loving seeing your journey. Just…keep…swimming!!! I nominated you for the Liebster Award. You can check out the post here:

    Liked by 1 person

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