the hump

Finally Felix Blossom 6I’m a 70s/ 80’s kid from a pretty large extended family. Growing up I had cousins as far as the eye could see. And somehow our parents had planned their child bearing perfectly, so I had about 7 cousins who all fell in my age range. On family outings, a group of us would cram into the back of someone’s car for a trip to wherever. Not a seat belt, car seat or other auto-safety gadget in sight. And the simple act of getting all of us settled in the car was pandemonium…

There were kids siting on other kids’ laps. Kids jockeying for window seats. One smart-aleck kid crying because an adult from the front reached back and a popped him in his smart-aleck mouth. One poor kid stuck up front with the adults (because cars had bench seats in front back then). And the inevitable fight over who was going  to sit on the hump. It was usually the smallest and youngest child in the back seat … and for a while, that was me.

I remember thinking that as much as everyone wanted to avoid the hump, it really wasn’t that bad. Yes, it was mildly uncomfortable. It was hard and awkwardly shaped, but it wasn’t horrible. With a bit of regular shifting, to keep my butt from falling asleep,  I could sit on the hump with no issues for a quite a stretch.

Looking back, I realize that I often volunteered to sit on the hump to  cut back on some of the commotion. A little bit of personal discomfort for the sake of peace. To me, it was worth it.

I brought that same mentality into my adult life, as well. Except now, the kind-of-uncomfortable but not-so-horrible hump I’ve been sitting on has been my marriage. It took me a long time to understand that. And as simple as it seems, the hardest part of being a volunteer hump sitter is recognizing the most obvious thing in the world…

…You can get up whenever you want.


About Felix Jay

I am Felix Jay, and I am gay as hell. Unfortunately, embracing this reality came after a 23-year relationship with a man, which included 12 years of marriage, and two children. This blog follows my journey to live my truth for the first time in my life, without devastating my family and losing my sanity in the process. Fully honest...completely authentic...and finally Felix.
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4 Responses to the hump

  1. Shauna Myers says:

    Love it, it’s terrible what we go through to make others happy.


  2. globalgramma says:

    Beautifully authentic voice you have…blessings as you move forward, Felix!


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