Finally Felix  Blooms 8Sometimes her magic comes to me in slips of stark vision. When I can see her face so vividly before me. Or taste the nectar of her lips on mine, even though she is far away.

At first I am alone. Then her essence materializes into my space like a precious mirage. And suddenly, I can smell her perfume, feel the softness of her skin against my fingertips, and when I inhale, it’s her air that fills my lungs.

She is so much me, that I clutch my chest and feel the beat that is both of our hearts working as one.

When I am low and near my breaking point, her magic slips beneath me, without question or judgement. It raises me to my feet. And cleanses me with words of support, enriched with honest belief in my strength. Belief that I may not even have for myself. She takes my face in her hands and lets me know that I am a lioness. Even when I’m feeling like a mouse. And somehow I begin to understand that yeah…I am a lioness.

I AM a lioness, dammit!

Yes, I have my own strength, my own deep reserves of faith and confidence. But having someone who amplifies that in me is nothing short of sacred magic.

Feeling blessed and beloved.


About Felix Jay

I am Felix Jay, and I am gay as hell. Unfortunately, embracing this reality came after a 23-year relationship with a man, which included 12 years of marriage, and two children. This blog follows my journey to live my truth for the first time in my life, without devastating my family and losing my sanity in the process. Fully honest...completely authentic...and finally Felix.
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4 Responses to magic

  1. Taylar says:

    Finally Felix a new post. This is beautiful. I hope it means someone deserving of you has come into your life. You deserve to be blessed and loved. Honor the mouse and the lioness. We warriors have to take cover sometimes and recover.

    ps I didn’t know you were following both my blogs

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Felix Jay says:

    Taylar…those words! ❤ ❤ ❤ It's funny, that we tend to look down on the parts of ourselves that need shelter and support. You are absolutely right. Both the mouse and the lion are vital to our well-being and deserve honor and respect. Thank you for pointing that out. 🙂

    Please remind me which two blogs are yours. I've been a bit of a blog-slacker lately, but if I'm following both of yours, they must be amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Blessed Love says:

    Yes, a beautiful lioness you are. And an equally beautiful mouse. Both sides are powerful and amazing. I wish you continued strength and love.


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