Author Archives: Felix Jay

About Felix Jay

I am Felix Jay, and I am gay as hell. Unfortunately, embracing this reality came after a 23-year relationship with a man, which included 12 years of marriage, and two children. This blog follows my journey to live my truth for the first time in my life, without devastating my family and losing my sanity in the process. Fully honest...completely authentic...and finally Felix.

Words in Hiding

For a little while, the words were gone, leaving things in me backed-up and unsaid. Well, they weren’t gone, gone. They just seemed to get off on not being accessible to me in particular. They toyed with me in hateful … Continue reading

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Shadow Work

There’s a lot of instruction floating around about finding oneself. Listen to your heart. Tap into your power. Dare to be you. Follow your dreams. Conquer your fears. FIND HAPPINESS WITHIN!!   I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve … Continue reading

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Sleep Paralysis

Turning in bed used to be just turning in bed. Lifting my hips from the mattress, shifting as the sheet slipped over my body, and settling myself into a new position. Soft and cool and comfortable. And alone. For a … Continue reading

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The space of newness — Randomness #6

Someplace between the din of chaos and the silence of loneliness, I stand in a bubble of stark self-awareness. It’s delicate and freshly blown — a little something I put together to shield myself from the waves that crest slowly … Continue reading

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A look back…and ahead

I started Finally Felix back in 2013. Looking back through my old posts, I’m amazed at how much has changed over the years. How much I’ve changed. The journey from 2013 to now has taken me to depths so dark … Continue reading

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Watch her soar

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”   – The Buddha The concept of self-love is something that’s thrown around a lot, isn’t it? I used it years ago when I was promoting a … Continue reading

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Still standing

It’s done. The words that I never thought I could utter have been said. Left my lips and took on a life of their own outside of my anxious mind. A few weeks ago, I told him I’m moving out. Then I contacted … Continue reading

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I do words for a living. My job is to put words together to get people to take action. I’m the one who entices them to Buy Now or Learn More or Hurry and get up on this limited-time offer before your slow ass misses out. For … Continue reading

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Another step–coming out to my daughter

So…I came out to my daughter this week. Holy shit. I CAME OUT TO MY DAUGHTER THIS WEEK!!!! Writing it all big and gay like that is actually me screaming in my head (and giggling a little bit after). This … Continue reading

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Goodbye 2016. Go kick rocks.

So much has happened this year. Politically and socially,the world is a much different place than it was a year ago. Many people have transitioned out of this world…famous people, not-so-famous, but very well-loved people as well. Most recently, my mother-in-law … Continue reading

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